Leadership Lessons From a 96-Year-Old Veteran

If someone comes to mind when you read this, then consider yourself one of the lucky ones.

Between the time we are born and the time we die, we all go through this complex (or perhaps very simple) thing called life.

We sometimes spend it trying to give it a meaning or trying to make it the best it can be whatever that means to each of us. And oftentimes, we come across those people who make us ask: Wow, you look like you are really living, how did you do that?

Writing this piece, I sat in front of my laptop multiple times, squeezing my brain to write something and yet finding myself in a cycle of writing and deleting everything I managed to get out.

Why?

It is hard to give justice to someone who managed to shape so much of you as a person with only a few sentences.

If someone comes to mind when you read this, then consider yourself one of the lucky ones.

Ever since I was a child, I was always told to respect my elders. To respect my parents, my grandparents, my uncles, my aunts. It was not restricted to those related to me, it was simply anyone who was older than me.

Being the “good girl” I always aspired to be, I always listened.

Sitting quietly among all of that noise can make you a good listener. You notice things. And those small things you notice are those that really make a difference.

And in-between childhood and adulthood, through simply observing the 96-year-old veteran who is my grandfather, I managed to learn the most valuable lessons in my life about leadership:

1. Respect

Take a minute and think about the people you value the most in your life. Take a minute to think of what makes them so special. Surface-level reasons may come up like how nice they are, how giving they are, their humor, or simply their ability to always be there in the most important part of your life.

Once you dig deeper you will find that the thing that they all share in common is simply the fact that they make you feel that you are valued. This may sound simple and it may sound too selfish and self-centered. But reality check! Humans usually are and that happens with everyone, even unconsciously.

Respect by definition can be subjective to each person depending on their culture, background, and the way they were raised. But we all know when it feels we were respected and when it feels we were not.

We form opinions about people by how they make us feel.

When we feel valued and when we feel like we are accepted for who we are even when we are different or we do not agree, that is when we feel respected. And it is that feeling that I always had sitting with my grandfather. If I was 5 or 20 years old, if I was at my best or my worst, I felt seen. I felt valued. Imagine if this is how we all made each other feel, even if we were not related. Do you think the world would be a tiny bit brighter?

2. Listen

Listening is a skill that you can learn and develop over time. Some people agree and some people think it is something you’re simply born with. All I know is that good listening skills oftentimes define how people wish to interact with you (and how you wish to interact with them).

The world is noisy and everyone wants to say something and feel heard. We think the smartest people in the room are the ones who talk the most, the loudest ones. I think it’s easy to think that way and I do not blame people for it. They create this aura of knowing everything and oftentimes that feels reassuring… until it doesn’t.

The best listeners are those who do just that, they listen. It also does not mean being fully silent and saying nothing. It is showing to whoever is in front of you that you are fully digesting every word they are saying. I never felt unheard around my grandfather.

3. Understand

It does not stop at listening, I must tell you. His keen and effortless ability to simply understand and communicate with anyone he meets leaves you in awe. A 5, 15, 25, or 75 years old, you name it! My grandfather managed to always understand what they are saying and converse accordingly. Around him, you felt important and you felt understood, and more often than not, that’s really all we need.

We do not need a fancy eloquent conversation with solutions to all our problems and praise for all our wins. We just want to feel understood and that is simply more than enough. Empathy was one of his greatest qualities, but he shined in the way he acted upon that empathy. And that’s where his kindness hit home.

4. Be Kind

His endless ability to give is something that leaves me speechless to this day thinking about it.

We often think of giving as if we have something that decreases in quantity as we give it. It’s not the case at all. The more you give, the fuller you are in all aspects. If you do not believe me, think of the people in your life who are most generous. Do you feel their content? Do you feel them shine a bit brighter than others? It’s because they do!

As a leader, you should not feel pride in being able to do things yourself or in being too good at something. You should feel pride in the knowledge you were able to transfer to others. You should feel pride in their achievements.

I think that is what made me strive so much to tell him first when I did something special. Why he looked just so excited to listen to me babble about the small things I did even if he did not understand them so well.

He was kind. I repeat he was kind, giving, genuine and honest. That’s more than anyone could ask for and you can say I am ever grateful for having a part of this beautiful human being running through me.

The lessons my grandfather taught me were from being wholeheartedly and unapologetically himself and when we really break it down, that’s why he is the best leader I ever knew.

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing now, grandpa, I hope you are smiling and proud. I know I am when thinking of you.